Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I had to cum in my sink.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize