yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He? As in you personified your dick?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
