It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
