I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize