nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize