I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
