cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
smell my finger.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
