So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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