and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
