You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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