If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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