Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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