Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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