Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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