Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
