There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
