she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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