look no pants
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
