So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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