Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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