Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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