I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
