I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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