When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
