How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
