David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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