i would punch a child for taco bell
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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