So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
