Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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