so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just gargled with NyQuil
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize