I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
