it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
