thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him