Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I hate having morals and standards the next morning.

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(732): I hate having morals and standards the next morning. http://tfl.nu/3tqs

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry

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(609): I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry http://tfl.nu/vmjm

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(760): View more from California

Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?

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(760): Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college? http://tfl.nu/r2e9

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(205): View more from Alabama

just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.

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(205): just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed. http://tfl.nu/2764

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(641): View more from Iowa

since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.

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(641): since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing. http://tfl.nu/ihpp

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.

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(920): Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work. http://tfl.nu/fle5

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(317): View more from Indiana

update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.

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(317): update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good. http://tfl.nu/p2ef

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(213): View more from California

"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.

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(213): "thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups. http://tfl.nu/qpz7

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(917): View more from New York City

The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.

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(917): The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join. http://tfl.nu/f8od

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(204): View more from Manitoba

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.

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(204): We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day. http://tfl.nu/b3rk

Replies (15) Good night (3663) Bad night (528)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.

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(701): I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day. http://tfl.nu/5jp7

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?

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(856): I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right? http://tfl.nu/8yrh

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(862): View more from New Jersey

I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.

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(862): I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud. http://tfl.nu/zssg

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(228): View more from Mississippi

Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha

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(228): Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha http://tfl.nu/vrbu

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(760): View more from California

I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.

(951): View more from California

Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped

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(760): I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire. (951): Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped http://tfl.nu/trsg

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