Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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