So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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