You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
