I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
