Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize