I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
