I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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