I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize