It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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