I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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