You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize