u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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