I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
