No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize