Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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