you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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