Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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