Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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