if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize