There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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