I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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