Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i think i have two assholes
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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