am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
