u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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