I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
