I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
