I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
