I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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