She is in my trunk
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
